Limericks page 3: other pages are...

67ers used to play
Chess in a patzer-like way
They thought "Sod it, we're crap"
So now they play snap
And other card games all day
There was once a guy called EeEk
Who was a bit of a geek
He'd jump a lot
When he lost the plot
And then would scream and squeak
An Iranian girl called Smalldream
Is even more mad than she seems
She's a total depressive
And far too obsessive
Try her - you'll want to scream
There was a guy named Sterile
Loved China gals for their smile
Died for their fucking body style
Would go to China many miles
To pump China girls many times
There once was a lass called Smalldream
Whose breasts made all the lads steam
She said 'I'm awfully nice
If you find the right price
But only one at a time, not the whole team'
There was a young woman called Dream
Whose knockers delighted a team
She performed in their ruck
Stirring up lots of muck
For which stunt she was held in esteem
We all miss that lad named McPanda
Who fell for a lass from Uganda
He went via Rome
To visit her home
And woo her right on her veranda
A rather effusive young chap
Called Dave cried, "Hey everyone, clap!"
And his blitz grade shot high
Up into the sky
But over the board he's still crap
There was a grandmaster called Short
Who liked the crush IMs for sport
But when he played stronger opposition
They made it their mission
To destroy Nigel and his sort
There was a 67`er called pawnriot
Who got fat so he tried a prawn diet!
Within a couple of days
He had wasted away
So my advice to you is "don't try it".
There was a young lady called MAd
Who decided one day that she'd had
Enough of her name
And so she became
Misomarac (but it's just a fad)
There was an old fella called Matt
Who spent most of his time in his flat
He was a bit of a joker
But quite good at poker
And he beat me in the quiz. What a twat!
A Geordie lad called pawnriot
Often wondered why it
Was so much hassle
Supporting Newcastle
Since Souness the Mags have gawn quiet
Parrot and Mad vied for beauty
And AS joined in cuz he's snooty
When the votes were all in
Yes Maddie did win
Cuz Maddie, well she's got the booty
There was a young man called parrot
Who put his fate to the tarot
The cards said well young man
You must play the snowman
Coz your nose resembles a carrot!
For Xmas Camellia got boots
High heels to go with her suits
Now she wears stilettos
While she fianchettos
Her bishops and no-one refutes
There is a young chappie called sandi
Who at chess is occasionally handy
He's in love with Javine
She's really his scene!
She's surely his favourite eye candy
There was a young beauty named Maddy
Who went out with a top golfer's caddy
This East European
Just couldn't help seein'
That Holtmild was REALLY "the daddy"
There was a young ozzie called Hvist
Only 20 and never been kist
One nite in the bar
He went a bit too far
And kist every1 coz he was pist!
Our friend from the borders called bish
In the gallery posted a pic of his dish
He was hounded by admirers
And curious enquirers,
One of them WGM Kosteniuk!...YOU WISH!!
With Iclaudius and Madborg the mad chick
We are used to the strange and eccentric;
Then hungrygoldfish passed through;
Looking for a "Palomino" in blue;
Yep this guy sure takes the biscuit
Poor old ottomanempire
His jokes were completely dire
Every day he'd get drunk
No wonder his jokes stunk
One of his best was calling me a liar
There once was a lad called OE
Of the jealous type was he
He called FIW dense
He never made much sense
So added to +censor did we
There are more channels here than TV
So its difficult to know where to be
But with an irreverent bishop
And occasional Pillock
"67s" the one place for me
Where would you guys normally be
Off down the pub probably
So what keeps you on here
Away from your beer
It's the Quizmeister himself our Herbee;
Our pal from the channel called otto
Won sixty quid on the lotto!!
To celebrate his win
He bought two bottles of gin
And got himself totally blotto
The channel custodian is bish
This one woman thought him a tasty dish
She said I'm not interested in your body
Nor in your bags of money
I just want to give you some fish
author unknown
With general knowledge like mine
There's never much chance to shine
Coz when it comes to the quiz
A studenty perv called Otto
Was known to be an eroto-
Maniac but he tried
To cover this side
Except when he got himself blotto
A handsome young fella called parrot
Was fond of the odd drop of claret
He tried for a kiss
But she said 'You're too pissed'
Which really was more stick than carrot
There was a dude called parrot9
Who thought his limericks rather sublime
But by using a hyphen
He proceeded to syphon
All the fun out of limerick design
There was a flouncing ottoman ponce
Who uttered whatever entered his bonce
As he strained for effect
Our nerves he did neglect
Pity you can only censor him once
In the dark recesses of Ch67 there lurked Montybrogan
Whose manner was indeed rather trojan
He'd take drugs at night
Which gave him that bite
Hence "king of kings" was his his slogan
Skulking in the hazzy shadows of ICC there resides GermanSevorin
Whose manner struck accord with General Rogozin
Was he so deep
Or just a creep
Let us all chant the name ZombieRagozin
On ICC there sat purched parrot9
Whom to ploddery he did incline
Shallow, Secular, Short and stout
Infantile, he behaved like a lout
But really he was rather benign
67`s very own Herbs
Entered a big race through the burbs
But his hopes of a win
Took a blow on the chin
When he tripped on one of the kerbs